Women born since the late 1950’s are influenced by feminism to choose a professional career path. Quite a number of women reach their potential in their chosen profession, look around and realize that everyone around them in their workplace is married with children. The woman then looks in the mirror and says, “what’s wrong with me, why don’t I have a family, a husband?” Their sadness and regret becomes a constant companion.
Dennis Prager, radio talk show host recently wrote of one such woman. She called in to his show with the following advice:
“I want to tell women in their 20s: Do not follow the path that I followed. You are leading yourself to a life of loneliness. All of your friends will be getting married and having children, and you’re working to compete in the world, and what you’re doing is competing with men. Men don’t like competitors. Men want a partner. It took me until my late 40s to realize this.”
“And by the time you have your own household with all your own bills, you can’t get off that track, because now you’ve got to make the money to pay your bills. It’s hard to find a partner in your late 40s to date because you also start losing self-confidence about your looks, your body. It’s not the same as it was in your 20s.”
Read the rest of Prager’s article here: Advice for Young Women from a Career Woman.
This woman’s lament to Dennis Prager about choosing career and ending up marriage and family-less were noticed by the blog, BeautySoAncient.com. Here is what this blogger wrote:
“… we are biologically designed to get married and bear children when we’re young.”
“While you might still get married when you’re older; the likelihood decreases.”
“The problem is that if you are focused on climbing the corporate calendar, you won’t have any time to focus on finding a mate.”
Read the rest of the blog here: Climbing the Corporate Ladder May Decrease Your Chances of Marriage.
Feminists also hurt men when they push for women to aspire to the professional life. On a recent radio talk show, the syndicated host Delilah took a call from a dejected male listener. He related his sad story of finally finding the woman of his dreams. On one of their dates, he told the woman, she was the one for him. He expressed readiness to move toward marriage. She rebuffed him by saying, “I have so many career goals. I’m just not up for that.” Perhaps this was her way of letting him down easy. We don’t know. She could have also been so controlled by the feminist ideal of career success, that she wasn’t able to see the good man in front of her. What if one day she realizes she made the wrong choice? It won’t be a good grief, it will be a stabbing pain to the heart. And, will this man ever get over his heartbreak and find the courage to pursue marriage again?
I experienced the pain of prolonged singleness in my own life. Determined not to marry when I was young and insecure, I pursued a career with enthusiasm. My dating options limited by my work travel and other factors kept me single until after 40. As my zeal for the world of work waned, I woke up to the reality it is much tougher to find a mate in your late 30s. I am one of the fortunate ones, as I did find a good man and we married.
Sadly, many females of my generation are still single and lacking a mate. Birds of a feather tend to flock together, and I recall numerous conversations with women who were excelling in their careers, who were impatiently ready to settle down and start a family. Yet, no opportunities (suitors) presented themselves. A few women I know gave up on marriage, adopted children and embarked upon single parenthood. How they did that while holding down a high powered, demanding job, I will never know, as I have lost touch with them.
Being married and having children is not essential for happiness, take for example those who happily choose a religious vocation. Yet, for the marriage-minded single or one who desires to have children, chronic, prolonged singleness is a source of pain.
I once heard a story that Gloria Steinem, who popularized modern feminism, celebrated her 40th birthday in a brownstone in Manhattan. Apparently, it was not such a happy occasion, as she cried to a friend, that all she ever wanted was to find a good man and to marry. Is this an urban legend or does it ring true? Gloria eventually married at the age of 66, and tragically lost her husband 3 years later.
Gloria’s cruel fate, is a cautionary tale. If you spend your fertile years as a feminist, you may indeed end up alone and miserable in your twilight years.
Beyond Feminist is an ex-feminist who frequently contributes to our blog.