By Lisa L.
I have switched from working in male dominant careers to homemaker only. My husband is an overseas contractor, so I am in the unique position of both feminine and masculine roles at home while he is away for months. I am an absolute non-believer in feminism due to my experiences.
My husband and I first met on the job as paramedics. We didn’t hit it off at first. A couple of years later he asked me to a BBQ. He is a military veteran and private military contractor.
I support original feminism, education, vote, work. But third wave feminism is 100% detrimental. This form is extreme. They say they are fighting for equality. I have worked with men and had all the same opportunities. This new wave is really about dominance not equality. Feminists today are anti-nuclear family, anti- homemaker. These feminists are trying to take femininity away from females, yet they are not willing to take all the risks that men do. There is more need for infrastructure than gender studies.
A gynocentric society is not the natural order.
Men have been running things for thousands of years, there have been issues, for sure. But to bash homemaking and staying home with children is wrong. Our society is taking a huge tumble from missing moms in the home. There is no one to cook, discipline, nurse. No guidance, no discipline. Children are indoctrinated by their own parents to not think independently. Parents today are trying to make carbon copies of themselves. It is not going well.
There is stability in the home when mom is there to cook, keep house in order and guide children. Without that things are going really bad. Children are not learning the value of work. The parents are not home to impart these lessons.
I left my job right away when we married. I was 37 years old and had PTSD from my field. I could focus on our homestead. Gardening is helpful for this PTSD. I handle all the home jobs, bill paying, housekeeping, tending the homestead. I take care of it all. I used to give my 110% to my job. I found my entire identity there.
I am Lisa, again. I am finding myself in my home life. Gardener, cook, accountant, nurse, advisor, house cleaner.
My medical training comes in handy for nursing someone back to health. Delegation of tasks, communication, consideration, and teamwork are also transferring over from my former career as a paramedic to life on the homestead.
Feminists don’t seem to consider who is going to defend your village when someone comes to burn it down. Women want to have it both ways. They want to be equal yet become the fainting flower when things get tough. I have no problem with equality, but I have a problem with deception and control.
My PTSD is receding, I have someone to talk to who understands. I am very comforted knowing he is here. I have someone to help, to distract me. It took my mind off myself, to have a husband to care for. I am not just a shell; I am a person. As a paramedic, I had to detach to a degree. It was a male dominated field. You have to disassociate from the emotions of things. You fill your trauma cop to overflowing. One day you get that call that makes it overflow. Then you are dealing with PTSD. It caused me to put up a huge wall. I lost all my friends, all my support structure. It was like I didn’t care. Now I am opening up again. My husband has been a massive part of that.
With men in his position who are gone all the time, they need someone back home that they can absolutely rely on. Once my husband saw the person I was, he felt he could rely on me. You discover so many abilities you don’t realize you had. As a homemaker I am learning landscaping, growing my own food, small repairs. It doesn’t shrink your world; it expands it in many ways.
People think of homemaking as old school home economics. It is so much more. It doesn’t limit you at all.
On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the best, for both of us our marriage is a 10.
Some of my friends look at me as though I were lazy. They don’t realize. My peers are not taking care of their health, staying in shape. They can’t even walk my property. They don’t realize the work that goes into homesteading.
These critics still have the feminist mindset. They think I need to be a strong, independent woman, out there working. I ask them, “What has your hate gotten you? What is that hatred of men doing for you?” Society has been a team effort for thousands of years. Men were the hunters, builders, and defenders throughout history. We need men.
My husband makes it known regularly that he appreciates my work on our homestead. If I need anything he sees to it that I get it.
He tells me that my job is as important as his.
While he is overseas, he knows everything is running smoothly at home. It takes a great deal of mental pressure off of him. He can focus on his job and not have floating around in the back of his head, worries like, “are the bills being paid?”
When he is dealing with an enemy combatant my husband needs to focus and not have worries haunting him.
In my view, homemaking has dropped out of value with the public. With our professional work-based society, and with the cost-of-living women are having to go to work. We have forgotten the value of the woman in the home and serving the community. Children were held accountable. There is value in a neighbor informing you of bad behavior. Kids don’t have the same accountability. In our culture, we now see selfish children who have no idea of the value of work, money, they have no have no idea of the value of motherhood. Our jobs will replace us in two seconds, but our families won’t. We have lost our wives, homemakers, men are refusing to get married. We have lost our purposes. Moms are no longer baking the cake, or there to pass on morals to the young. We are teaching our little girls to run around with their bits hanging out. We are devaluing women when we neglect to set standards. There is something to be said for mystery.
Lisa L. is a homesteading wife in the state of New Hampshire, USA.
